DONE

Alright, friends, this blog is officially CLOSED. It's been a good run, yadda-yadda.

FIND THE NEW, IMPROVED SEWERSERPENT BLOG HERE: http://blog.sewerserpent.com/

REDLIGHT DISTRICT

I'm really sick of looking at the same old things in my shop, so I'm trying to clear out old crap with a sale. Prices reduced $5 - $15 on paintings, plastic jewelry, and things I don't really want to have hanging around on my piano anymore (since that's where I keep all my finished pieces). In an effort to be proactive about this, I've been whoring myself out on Etsy's Promotions forum. No sales so far, but I do feel cheap and easy.

MOVING!!!

I'm in the process of moving this blog to my own server. Which means I'm also in the process of FINALLY doing something with sewerserpent.com, the domain I've been ignoring for over a year - despite the fact that I pay for it every month. I thought about coding my own blogging system, but decided to go with Wordpress due to my laziness and a newfound desire to do some paper crafts. Making small notebooks, doing some acrylic image transfers, making collages. In fact, I bid on (and won) some Ebay auctions for original gay porn photos from the 80s and 90s. I'll probably end up framing most of them--in particular, there are two of a young blond man in a sailor suit looking annoyed that I'm itching to put side-by-side in a horizontal frame--but there's one, at least, with a bad face that I plan to play around with. Probably draw (or watercolor, maybe) a handsome little stag's head for him to wear.

In the lapse since my last entry, I've been busy. Not just puttering around busy, but actually busy--traveling, mainly, to New Hampshire for a friend's wedding and a five-day "vaycay," then to Chicago for the Pitchfork Music Festival. In regards to the latter, I was really only going to see my favorite band, Mew, and, due to the American inability to purchase any of their merchandise (they're Danish), embroidered a little shirt to show my support and love. Though Anna has made quite a few neat things, this was my first experiment with embroidery. The words I free-handed, and for the little Mewbird I used their logo as a reference. I think it turned out well. One person at the festival saw me wearing it and said, "Hey, Mew!" She was wearing an actual Mew shirt, which I later bought one of at a booth for the very reasonable price of $20. And I've gotta say, it's nice having something official that I didn't have to make myself.

TOLD YOU SO

The Fourth of July is a big day for us. Back in the 90s, my parents, along with three other foodie couples, would get together four times a year to cook gourmet dinners with and for each other. The summer party, always on the Fourth, was always at our house - because we had a big yard, a pool, and fireworks so close you can smell the TNT, but never have to leave the back yard. Those FOJ parties were, incidentally, the only ones the kids were allowed to attend, which meant that, once a year, I got to spend an entire day eating fancy food and playing with boys (none of the other couples had girls). There were some hits - whole smoked salmons in 1997 - and some misses - 1998's pig roast in the rain - but it was always fun.

Now, one couple has moved across the country, another has been adopted in their place, the kids don't come anymore, my father hasn't been there for a decade, and I've started having to make the desserts. Last year, I rocked out the entire course, with a maple bread pudding, key lime pie, roasted nectarines with a honey-balsamic glaze, vanilla bean ice cream, and sage-scented shortbread cookies. It was exhausting. This year, I relegated some tasks: one of our friends made a chocolate cake with chocolate-espresso frosting, and Anna made a wonderful key lime pie. Me? Rerun. Ice cream and cookies. Specifically, Alton Brown's ice cream and these cookies.

This year's "meal" went from shrimp skewers at 3pm to Jack Daniels at 1am, and consisted of the following (I only took pictures of the stuff I ate):








Hot pepper pizza, stuffed peapods, succotash, grilled king crab legs, salt and vinegar mashed potatoes, deviled eggs, caprese salad, and some red meat items I avoided. Then Anna, Erin, and I made a list of the things we love most about America. God Bless this holiday. And God Bless Leftovers.

MUFFINS AND SHATNER

As promised, I left a bag of cherries out on the counter to defrost while I went outside to play with my rat, Biff (who ran away to the bushes again, that turd). Upon returning, my mother asked what I was doing. When I said making muffins, she said I should use the overripe bananas instead. So I did. Later. Midnight later, after being disappointed by both the Daily Show and Dirty Jobs being reruns. I used this recipe, tweaking it only slightly by adding a bit more sugar and a splash of vanilla.

They came out wonderfully. Probably the most handsome muffins I've ever made. Aided in part by the mad cool dinosaur cupcake papers (muffin tin liners? wrappers? what are they actually called?) I got at an olde-tyme five-and-dime store a couple weeks ago. Which was, incidentally, when I bought a bangin' Star Trek (the original, duh) tin and a nice piece of bling that has, as Anna predicted, gotten me many compliments. I didn't know what I was going to do with a tiny Star Trek tin when I bought it, but it was hinged and only $1.19, so it would have been stupid NOT to buy it. Plus, it's my firm belief that there is always a use for tiny tins - or jars, bottles, etc - even if you can't think of one at the time. I mean, look at that: I now have a place to store my earrings. Without impulse purchases, I'd be awash in a sea of mismatched earrings. (Though I might line it with some felt - green, of course - so there's no metal-on-metal violence.)

Still to come, Fourth of July breakdown. Watch out.

CANUCKS

Sometimes I think that the only reason we keep Canada around at all - instead of taking it over and selling it to Ted Nugent for a personal hunting ground - is because of people like Joey Kirchner. Canadian youth, there to remind us that Neil Young and Bryan Adams weren't the only success stories (I'm serious about Bryan Adams).

Tomorrow, I plan on making use of last year's frozen fruit cache - or what's left of it, anyway. Every summer, my mother and grandmother get together and spend a day pitting sour cherries, peeling peaches, and picking through blueberries so they can make nice, vacuum-sealed packs that are then put into the basement freezer to be taken out at various times during the coming year for pies and crumbles. There's only a bag of cherries left, which is good news for me, since they're my favorite fruit, and are a key part of my favorite muffins.

Something to look forward to.
Along with Fourth of July food photos, new jewelry techniques, Fashionweek menswear inspiration, tiny vials of tiny things, whiskey comparisons, exciting artwork, VHS tapes, and creative uses for Jack Daniels in cooking.

The blog is back in full swing. Shazam!