SHE SWALLOWED IT

I really wanted ice cream, but we didn't have eggs or cream, and I wasn't in the mood to cook up a curd, let it rest for twenty-four hours, all that crap. So I experimented, and found a real winner.


GATHER THIS CRAP
1 can of sweetened, condensed milk
1-cup of milk (I used 2%)
3-tsp Dutch process cocoa powder
a little hot water
a splash of vanilla (if you want)
+ uh, an ice cream maker

Okay, just dump both milks into a bowl. Then dissolve your cocoa powder in a little bit of hot water - just until it becomes smooth, easier to pour and mix. Add it to the milks, and mix by hand until blended. Add some vanilla if you want. Then, just shove it into the ice cream maker, and in an hour or so, you're good to go! Get that shit into a bowl-with-a-lid, and shove it into the freezer until it's set. Probably another hour. Or less, if you've got a major jones.

Now, since this is a pretty ghetto method, your ice cream obviously won't be as rich and satisfying as regular ice cream (it's better for you? kickass?) - and it also won't have regular ice cream's melting point: yours will melt very quickly, so once you get it out of the ICM, you're going to have to speed it the hell up to get it into your freezer-safe bowl before it melts and makes you sad. And try and use the highest-quality cocoa powder you can possibly find (Scharffen Berger for me), so there's at least something high-qual in there.